Friday, July 25, 2008

I hate the scale.

The scale, of course, being that little device that you step on once a day, once week, or maybe once every other year depending on how you feel about it. I'm an every-dayer and have been going on a little over a year and half. January 1, 2007: the day I started trying to lose weight. At that point, even though we owned a scale, I don't think I could have actually told you how much I weighed. After that day, I knew. And I didn't like it. See, I initially decided I needed to lose weight because I didn't want to be the "fat" bridesmaid in my friends' wedding. In December '06, we had picked out and ordered the dresses and did not like the size that was coming. And it didn't help that the other three girls little. That was as good of motivation as I needed. And I had until May

So, I bought workout DVDs (Biggest Loser Workout), came up with a plan to eat Lean Cuisine and Weight Watchers frozen meals for lunch and dinner, gave up alcohol, and basically put all my energy into losing weight. For some reason, I though it would be easy. I must have lost my mind. Hardest thing I've ever done. And I'm still doing it. Well, by May, I had lost 20 lbs. and was pretty proud of myself. Until I saw pictures. While I looked so much better than I had six months before, I still didn't like what I saw. But I had lost 20 lbs., right? That was a big accomplishment. And so I let it go at that. And I maintained that weight for the next six or so months.

Then came January of this year. Actually, December 27 of last year came first. That was my birthday. My 30th birthday. Don't get me wrong, I didn't have an issue with turning 30, but it did get me thinking about my life. I was 30. Was I living the life I wanted to live? Was accomplishing certain things? Just thinking. And one thing I realized was that I was not in a place with my health or how I looked that I wanted to be. I wanted to look and be healthy. I didn't want to diet. Diets don't get you anywhere. I wanted to live a long, healthy life and I wanted to be able to teach our future children how to live healthy lives. Who knew that would be better motivation that fitting into a dress or looking good in a bikini (another past motivator)?

But, I digress. So, I have this new, profound outlook on life and living healthy. The scale shouldn't matter. I know that I'm eating better, working out, and feeling better because of it. I can see with my own eyes that I'm losing inches and gaining muscle mass and definition. I'm going down sizes in clothes.

But still that damn scale just sits there.

Since that initial 20 lbs., I've lost an additional 13, but I still have at least 16 and up to 21 to go to be in the "normal" range for my height. And yet the scale doesn't move.

We are so programmed to care what the scale says. As a rational, fairly intelligent human being, I understand all the reasons why I don't see the number on the scale going down. But as an irrational, often hormonal, woman, I won't be completely happy until that scale shows me what I want to see.

And it's all the scale's fault, you know!

A

Thursday, July 24, 2008

So Who Are We and Why Do You Care: Our First Post

We are Ashley and Bill, unoffically The Beardens [get it, The Beardens, The Bear Den(s)]. Why unofficially, you wonder? Well, if you don't know us, it's because technically we aren't married, but we may as well be and we are working on it. And, frankly, we got a kick out of the play on words for the title. And why do you care? Hey, you clicked on the blog!

We just thought it would fun to do this together. A little blog about our lives, our loves (including each other), our munchkins, and any other little thing that pops into our heads.

About us? We have been together for almost seven years (in October). We are engaged. We have two adorable dachshunds. We built our first house a little over two years ago. As a couple, we love movies, love bike riding, working out, taking drives, and in general, having fun.

Our plan is to sometimes blog together, sometimes blog apart. We may blog on the same subject, sometimes not so much.

Enjoy!

A & B